Well this would be mine another interesting blog after my previous article “The Meeting with Compadre”…
Like the previous blog it does not tell you about any meeting or departing from Compadre, but this article gives you my feelings or more exactly perceptions about GIRLS or Woman’s, which constantly I had in my mind.
Let me take you to my childhood days when I was a child of around the age of 7 or 8 years or exactly when I understood the minor difference of the nature’s genders system that who are called boys and who are said to be girls!!!!
At that time I really had a great respect for girls or women around me or in my life like my teachers, my neighbor’s uncle’s daughters, my relatives and different synonyms given to that gender species. I always used to take flowers for my teachers & share my things with my neighbor’s family daughters or even sacrificing my class work & homework notes before exams to my class mates girls. My thoughts, ideas and imaginations were really pure and holy at that time towards girls.
But, as I was growing and growing older in this nature’s gender system, the days were not exactly the same as how I thought in my childhood and the concept of holiness and purity were downsizing and unholiness and impurity were increasing day by day in my mind after hearing few bad instances about my neighbor’s family daughters and some from my relatives families and some scenes and news from the society and news channels (don’t think many channels only Doordarshan at that time), and also when I openly witnessed my teacher( to whom I used to carried flowers daily) having some affair with one of the masters in her living room ( as I was close to her I used to walk down anytime, any where in their house) . I did not able to trace & understand about myself first, is that due to my psychological changes because I was growing old or is it the truth about girls or women!!! & is that I was just holding a paradox perception about them and considering them as Goddess or Angels of the whole universe?
Let me take you to my childhood days when I was a child of around the age of 7 or 8 years or exactly when I understood the minor difference of the nature’s genders system that who are called boys and who are said to be girls!!!!
At that time I really had a great respect for girls or women around me or in my life like my teachers, my neighbor’s uncle’s daughters, my relatives and different synonyms given to that gender species. I always used to take flowers for my teachers & share my things with my neighbor’s family daughters or even sacrificing my class work & homework notes before exams to my class mates girls. My thoughts, ideas and imaginations were really pure and holy at that time towards girls.
But, as I was growing and growing older in this nature’s gender system, the days were not exactly the same as how I thought in my childhood and the concept of holiness and purity were downsizing and unholiness and impurity were increasing day by day in my mind after hearing few bad instances about my neighbor’s family daughters and some from my relatives families and some scenes and news from the society and news channels (don’t think many channels only Doordarshan at that time), and also when I openly witnessed my teacher( to whom I used to carried flowers daily) having some affair with one of the masters in her living room ( as I was close to her I used to walk down anytime, any where in their house) . I did not able to trace & understand about myself first, is that due to my psychological changes because I was growing old or is it the truth about girls or women!!! & is that I was just holding a paradox perception about them and considering them as Goddess or Angels of the whole universe?
Holding those paradoxical situations in my mind & I continued with my life and studies and was successfully going forward and forgot about all these things at one point of time. As the days passed on and when I joined my engineering college to do my engineering; natures law of attraction normally takes place at this age & time and naturally I been attracted to one girl of my class who used to be my friend in my initial days and later as the time passed on became close & more close to me as a friend and she used to share many of her thoughts and discuss about her life and I used to feel good & comfortable in her company. And naturally the concept of love been developed on her and when I said about my feeling to her on a date when I had taken her in Bangalore (I proposed her 3 yrs after my college till that time we were been close) then she confessed that she do not have all those kind of feelings and it was only a kind of friendship out of which she shared her things with me not out of 4 letter word after hearing that immediately I gulped the glass of water hardly thru my oesophagus to digest what she was saying and was shocked to listen that, and was thinking if that’s no feeling then why she’s been so close to me? Then, after that particular day is over, we left for our homes. I was thinking whole night and thought she may still need some time, and may be what she was saying is right and I mistaken for one thing as other and I perceived from her way and talked normally as friend and I was maintaining my limits from then on but after some days again the spring has again started in my life with hopes as she was trying to get closed to me and I quickly recognized those ambivalence.
And my whole previous paradoxical state of my mind has again ignited and came into existence; from then onwards I started developing hatred and hating Girls and woman’s and I was only thinking them as they were the objects of just satisfying Natures desires and nothing else. But, truly to say it’s very hard to understand them and know them!!
As, I was slowly coming out of that dilemma and recovering, I met with one more girl who was my previous friend, meeting with her and talking to her had made me to realize what I was thinking in my childhood (first) was correct, but my conscience was telling me not to trust any girl because of past experience, but anyways I realized that girl’s should be respected and adorable, may be it’s my new friend who gave me a different dimension in my thinking.
But, now I am still confused whether to believe my childhood concept or my hard facts instances!!
However, one thing I can say heartily is that if I really get a loveable, trustable person in my life then I should not leave her hand under any circumstances and I should devote all my childhood respect, holiness and purity and if its vice versa, then again I update this article…. :) :) :)
Last not the least, one thing we can learn from them is forgiveness which they have tons in them, hats off to you all girls.
And my whole previous paradoxical state of my mind has again ignited and came into existence; from then onwards I started developing hatred and hating Girls and woman’s and I was only thinking them as they were the objects of just satisfying Natures desires and nothing else. But, truly to say it’s very hard to understand them and know them!!
As, I was slowly coming out of that dilemma and recovering, I met with one more girl who was my previous friend, meeting with her and talking to her had made me to realize what I was thinking in my childhood (first) was correct, but my conscience was telling me not to trust any girl because of past experience, but anyways I realized that girl’s should be respected and adorable, may be it’s my new friend who gave me a different dimension in my thinking.
But, now I am still confused whether to believe my childhood concept or my hard facts instances!!
However, one thing I can say heartily is that if I really get a loveable, trustable person in my life then I should not leave her hand under any circumstances and I should devote all my childhood respect, holiness and purity and if its vice versa, then again I update this article…. :) :) :)
Last not the least, one thing we can learn from them is forgiveness which they have tons in them, hats off to you all girls.
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